For some reason Im feeling a little bit down .... Its interesting because sometimes friends tell me that they run into my ex friends somewhere and i get that feeling of maybe a little bit sad or jealous... I feel like i dont know what i did or do to make those ex friends hate me or not want to do anything with me... Due to a recent discovery from a friend of mine, who is friends with a ex friend that im not going to name... Its really sad how I really dont know what i did to make that certain person hate me. I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever have best friends or what in the future seeing that myself is turning into a total outcast.... What I do know this is that being married has changed me for the better and gained experience and a really loving husband who is really a best friend to me.. Still, i just wish i have someone to hang out with and have fun just once a while to boost my own self esteem and feel like im worth to someone who really cares.
I feel like I have not changed much just still have the same personality even though maybe im viewed like im someone who let herself really go and not take care of herself.. maybe that might be why. Who knows? I will never know. I'm always constantly wanting to solve problems and make people happy. Maybe I please people too much....
Another feeling that i have is that if i died noone would care ( except my own family)... I realize im not exactly popular or well liked right now... I feel that im just hopeless or worthless... i guess i never see any friends try to make me feel like im worth millions or at least valued as a really good friend ... i give and give and give.. but feel like im getting nothing back.... I guess i feel like im cheap or just am being walked all over being taken advantaged of.
4 comments:
I care, and we're friends, I just think that we both have very strong personalities, so they clash sometimes. But that doesn't mean that I hate you or anything. Just that we have minor disagreements at times. Feel better about yourself and screw the friends who turned you down. Look at what you do have in life, enjoy it, and strive for the best. :D
I care, and we're friends, I just think that we both have very strong personalities, so they clash sometimes. But that doesn't mean that I hate you or anything. Just that we have minor disagreements at times. Feel better about yourself and screw the friends who turned you down. Look at what you do have in life, enjoy it, and strive for the best. :D
I would miss you :) Life is crazy, I don't get out much either, so understand how you feel. I am glad that we catch each other online though :)
~C
Cheer up, Big Sis! Your family is a hop, jump, and a skip away! We're always there for ya. I love you too much for you to feel like you're cheap! You know you're one great woman of worth! I've always thought so.
Post a Comment