Dreaming and Facing Reality.......

This image just makes me feel like I'm walking in a dream sometimes. Because the goals I've made in the last blog, they are just dream goals... The reality of it now, I have not done a single thing at all, but I have the MOST AMAZING hubby that does it all for me. He cleans, cooks and does the laundry all while hes struggling with finding work. I don't know how I could have survived with out him!

I was excited to get the second job at Shelf Reliance, but turns out that I was too overconfident with myself. Yesterday, was the first day of the second job. I went into it thinking okay i can do this and can handle it. Two hours into the 10 hour shift, I was really in horrible pain on the side of my back and I did take many 10 minute breaks as I could to relieve the pain. Each time it goes away it comes back two to three times worse. I came home with really horrible headache and was in so much pain that i barely slept maybe two to three hours. I got up this morning going to my morning job but still dealt with the pain. I made the decision not to go forward with the job because I know my body at this point and do not want get hurt any more than it is right now. I need to take my body to a safer way to lose weight and I realized that this job was not the right way to do it.

I have applied for two jobs, which one is Damon's old archiving position that is full time that i wanted to try for and other one is part time for footnote that is owned by Ancestry.com. Also I contacted Shelf Reliance and talked to one of the human resource people and came clean about yesterday. He was really nice and told me not to come in for the shift and told me to call him back tomorrow because Ive asked if i could get part time or something else that i can do that does not strain my body as bad it was yesterday. So we see what happens.

Ever since that scary moment with my pain issues from yesterday it made me realize that I need to take better care of myself and cant do anymore excuses for it or putting it off. I have to make a commitment or it would just get more worse before it can get better. I just want to say thank you to those that I love --my family and some friends because THEY have tried to help me to deal with my weight issue and I just flat out did not want the help. I admit, I do need the help and the push to do it, whether I want to or not.